WHO UNCORKED THE CRAZY BOTTLE?????

Just a few musings about last nights shift.

• We had a dispatcher who gave out all pertinant info to the first call of the night, except of course the ADDRESS of the call. He got better as the night wore on


• We had a guy come in who's wife had a restraining order out on some other guy, the order was from a different town, the guy she had a restraining order out on in turn got a restraining order taken out onher husband (the guy who is standing in front of me at the Police Station), the (guy who got the R/O on the husband) got all liquored up and called the husband (who he is supposedly so in fear of that he needs an R/O) and called him every bad name in the book. The husband (who appeared to be slightly inebriated himself and doesn't have an R/O out on anyone) comes in to OUR department , not once, not twice, but three times (not the department that issued the R/O) demanding that we lock the guy up for talking to him so badly


• We had a guy come in to report that a guy at a party that he was attending stole his car keys and took off in his car, he and his friends went by the guys house and his mothers house but couldn't locate the car, I was going to investigate, take his complaint and arrest the guy for him, but when I asked him who the guy was he said he didn't know, I said well, he was at the party and you knew how to find his AND his moms house, someone must know who the guy is. At this point he got belligerant, telling me I was a slacker, that he was going to report me to the chief and his city counsellor and anyone else who'd listen I guess. That he DEMANDS I take his report. When I told him that I wanted him to produce the friend who took him to the suspects house he got pissed and stormed off without finishing the report, Being the nice guy that I am covering my ass, I put the car out as tenatively stolen and to stop the vehicle if spotted and we'd get to the bottom of it when that time comes


• We had a lady come in to bail her son out (easy enough), I checked the arrest log and found out that we had not arrested anyone by that name and I told her so. She tells me that she knows WE didn't arrest her son, that the next town over arrested him but she didn't have a ride there and thought she could bail him out from the nearest Police Department


• and finally we had a woman come in to find out what she needed to do in order to buy some "mace" well, we haven't had mace for several years now, it is O/C (olleseron capsimum) "pepper" spray , I decide to have some fun while being informative, I tell her that because of the liberals we cannot use "mace" anymore because it is made from a chemical compound and not "environmentally friendly" so we are forced to switch to the more natural and organic pepper spray and while not as effective in stopping attacks it doesn't deplete the Ozone layer. I then let her know about the differing kinds of O/C spray which are: Foam and gel, Fogger, and Stream. I give her the pros and cons on all the different types (my personal favorite is the stream, you have to be more accurate but it works the best for what I need it for, I instruct her that stream does not "cross contaminate" which means only the guy getting sprayed will feel the effects where as with the fogger everyone around gets some "cross contamination" she then asks,:"Well if I get the fogger should I have someone spray me to see if I can handle it????????" I respond: No comment lady